Thursday, 7 August 2014

Blank pages

The pages around here have been a little blank of late. It's because I've been in a terrible mood. Some writers are able to turn this to their advantage, writing poignant pieces about the wonders of the human mind and the big existential questions. Not me. I wallow and reduce myself to pathetic tears whilst watching Glee. I think the fact that I'm watching Glee in the first place is enough to make anyone cry so I probably shouldn't give myself too much of a hard time about that.

I'm in a bad mood because I've got decisions to make and they're weighing heavily on my shoulders. Making good decisions is not my forte. I could write a post about all the poor ones I've made over the years but I'd be here all night and then I'd probably have to go and watch an episode of Glee to forget about it. I don't want to do that to myself.

The reason I'm so bad at making decisions is that it entails engaging in a bit of self-reflection which inevitably leads to self-doubt and then self-flagellation, in the hypothetical sense rather than in a weird, lonely, 50 shades of Grey minus the millionaire hottie sense.

Despite the somewhat dramatic paragraphs above, life is actually moving along quite nicely, I'm just not really finding the heart to write about it. There have been lots of family parties, which are my favourite. There have been nostalgic reunions with old friends and lots of spending time with newer ones. There's also been the realisation that I have someone in my life who takes the sting out of the self-flagellation. Normally by distracting me with food. He knows me well.

So the challenges have taken a back seat until my motivation returns although I am looking at which ones to pick for the remaining four months. I must resume the exercise fairly soon to burn off some of the excess energy which is currently directed inwards. This is apparent but the motivation to do so is eluding me just now. In the meantime, I've been relaxing a little, doing some reading, watching far too much Prison Break and generally not doing much of note.

I expect I shall soon return in triumphant fashion. Until then, enjoy the peace and quiet.

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