Saturday, 7 June 2014

Life lately

I've been pretty much AWOL from the blog since writing the last post after the Triathlon. It's honestly not because I was so broken by said Triathlon that I couldn't think straight or type and it's not even due to a lack of time either (although that's partly the reason). It's actually because for the first time since I started this blog, I've been faced with writer's block.




Normally, I advise writing quick, fast and dirty. Sit at your computer, write what comes out of you without overthinking it too much, edit it and then post and stick it out there for everyone to see. Many times it might be crap but other times, you'll end up with an unself-conscious piece of writing that gives people a real insight into what you were thinking. To my mind, perfectionism is the antithesis to creativity, stifling the thoughts in your head before they are ever uttered, written or turned into something tangible and potentially wonderful.

Yet for some reason, the words haven't been coming. It's impossible for me to write about my life without writing about other people whose lives are intertwined tightly with mine and its tricky to take on the responsibility for putting a part of their lives out into the public domain. There are stories I'd like to tell but they're not my stories alone and so it's difficult to know how to do them justice. What if I write something that unintentionally upsets someone? I suppose that all writers must encounter this internal debate but it's a little more apparent in blogging because there are no characters to hide behind.

I've also been a little bit tired and drained of enthusiasm this week. The first few months of this year have been busy and exciting but demanding. I threw myself into training for the challenges, I spent hours trying to drum up raffle prizes, spent most of my spare hours thinking of blog posts, spent my Saturdays writing and spent longer than I care to admit on twitter hashtagging the shit out of everything with the aim of getting my blog posts seen by people. This week I've taken a slump in my desire to do these things. The exercise routine has gone out the window despite the fact that Tough Mudder is just around the corner. I've been returning my head under the covers each morning instead of getting out and going for a run and I haven't even looked in the direction of the computer or noted any ideas down in my notebook.

But as I sit writing about how I've been drained of enthusiasm for the blog, I realise all the reasons that it has been worth the time I've invested in it. Every time someone favourites or retweets my blog link I feel a little buzz of excitement. I've been listed in Sleepwalking in NY's list of favourite blogs and the fact that people across the world have read words that I've written makes me feel warm and fuzzy every time I think about it. Eduncovered reckoned that my blog was worthy enough to be considered one of the ten best fitness blogs in Edinburgh and also, I've been invited to my first ever blogger event - a cocktail masterclass! Which (and this is an inside joke which I might explain later) I'll definitely be swinging my parka at. These may be small achievements but they are real nonetheless and it's been a real boost of confidence that I've managed to get anyone to read my blog at all.

Writing this blog and taking on the challenges means that I've achieved a lot in the first six months of this year. I've learned to swim, learned to enjoy exercise again, discovered how beautiful Edinburgh is, explored other parts of Scotland, climbed a mountain and generally just reinvigorated my lust for life and adventure. Now I just need to learn how to inject some balance into that schedule and how to relax and enjoy the adventures without feeling a burning desire to document it ALL.







2 comments:

  1. I wish I am more motivated like you - I really need to learn how to swim. compare to me, you are quite more active. I'm so lazy, I even take short-cuts to the office.

    I also too get a bit delighted whenever people mention my blog on their blog, it almost motivates me to post every day. almost. & it's always a pleasure to share links to other blogs.

    I hope you have a wonderful day.

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    1. Thank you for your comment Lissa. Comments are almost as exciting as realising that someone has linked to your blog! I'm not that motivated...the training has been somewhat poor but I am trying I suppose. The blog is a good way to distract myself from the training!!

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